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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24394480">Solace</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Prophetic_nightmares/pseuds/Prophetic_nightmares'>Prophetic_nightmares</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Trek: Voyager</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Eventual Fluff, F/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 03:22:44</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,122</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24394480</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Prophetic_nightmares/pseuds/Prophetic_nightmares</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>J/C angst post equinox. Written for the 2020 Kathryn Janeway needs a hug fest. Kathryn has some demons to face after the Equinox incident and who better to help her than Chakotay.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Chakotay/Kathryn Janeway</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Kathryn Janeway Needs A Hug</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I am back with more angst for you all and more feelings about our favourite command duo.</p><p>Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, I am just borrowing them.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kathryn took a sip of her coffee and grimaced, it had long since gone cold but she didn't care. Finally something matched the hollow inside her soul and she allowed herself a small humourless chuckle at irony of it. She returned her attention to the initial survey reports of the planetiod they had detected on long range sensors and the results were promising. There was no signs that the planet was inhabited so the survey team would not have to worry about any potentially hostile aliens. She quickly reviwed the list of teams that Chakotay had forwarded her this afternoon and she was secretly relieved that he had put himself down as the head Team Alpha. After the incident with the Equinox, she felt as if she had lost the trust of her crew and she didn't want to spend three days on the surface of an unknown planetoid in such close proximity to them. The sound of her door chime broke her out of her reverie and she sighed softly and rose to her feet, striding towards the replicator as she called for her visitor to enter. "Good evening Commander, what can I do for you?" She greeted him, glancing up from the replicator to see Chakotay standing just inside the door with a small stack of PADDs in his hands. </p><p>"I have some crew evaluations and B'Elanna's latest Engineering reports. I was thinking that we could go over them together." He began shifting slightly as he awaited her dismissal. </p><p>"That sounds good to me. The usual?" She offered him a small smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. </p><p>"Yes, please." He replied as he placed the stack of PADDs on the coffee table and settled himself in his customary seat with one of B'Elanna's reports. Kathryn placed a steaming mug of tea on the coffee table in front of him and settled herself at the far end of the sofa, coffee in hand and a PADD in the other. She didn't dare to look at him, how could she after what had happened between them during the fiasco with Ransom. </p><p>"I looked over the list for the survey teams, everything looks good." She finally said after a few beats of silence. Chakotay looked to her in surprise. </p><p>"You're not going to insist on being on one of the teams?" He studied her for a moment, barely concealing his concern for her. </p><p>"Not this time Commander, I am staying on Voyager whilst you enjoy yourself looking for edible plantlife." She teased, but there was no glimmer of it in her gaze. </p><p>"Is everything alright Captian?" He asked, using her title, electing to tread lightly, sensing that something was on her mind and whatever it was slowly eating away at her. </p><p>"I am fine Commander, why do you ask?" She said before taking a sip of her coffee. </p><p>"I just expected you to have changed the teams so you could explore the planet." He answered carefully. "I'm just a little surprised that you are happy to stay on Voyager." </p><p>"I have a lot of reports to catch up on and now seems like a good time to do it." She smiled once more and Chakotay's fear's were confirmed. Kathryn was not alright and he had to do something to help her. Some of the crew had expressed their concern to him about her wellbeing, they were worried that she was relapsing into the depression that had hit her at the beginning of the year whilst they had been trapped in The Void. </p><p>"Kathryn, what's really in your mind? I know you well enough to know that something is wrong." He began tentatively. </p><p>"Sometimes I think that you know me better than I do at times." She siad softly. "I don't want to talk about it right now, Chakotay. It's too painful at the moment and I need a little time to work things out on my own, how about we talk about this after the survey mission? I'll probably have my thoughts in order by then." She offered him a small smile, her eyes revealing the storm of emotions that lay within. </p><p>"I'll hold you to that." He returned her smile and the knot of worry loosened a little. </p><p>                                            =/\= </p><p> </p><p>"Are sure you'll be alright Chakotay?" She asked for the third time that morning as she helped load the equipment into the Shuttle. "You're going to be down there for three days with Neelix and Chell." She smirked a little as she took a case of sample containers from him, their fingers brushing and sending tiny sparks of electricity through them both. </p><p>"I'll survive, it wouldn't be the first time that I've been on an away mission with them." He smiled, loading the last of the equipment. </p><p>"As long as they don't start debating over the best way to prepare Leola Root Stew again." She added with a small smile. </p><p>"Don't remind me." He laughed. Remembering that he had to stomach two different variations on the dish after Chell and Neelix had gotten into a heated debate about the preparation of said dish. "Are you sure you'll be okay, Kathryn?" He lowered his voice, asking her the same question that she had been asking him since she had met him outside the Shuttle Bay. </p><p>"I'll survive." She answered simply, her gaze becoming guarded as they touched upon her reason for being here. "You'd better come back in one piece mister." She laid a gentle hand on his chest just below his combadge. Chakotay brought his hand up to cover hers and giving it a gentle squeeze. </p><p>"I'll try and stay out of trouble." He met her gaze and gave her hand another gentle squeeze before releasing it. "I'll see you in three days." She nodded in affirmation. </p><p>"Stay safe, Chakotay." She murmured softly before stepping away and heading out of the Shuttle Bay with one last lingering glance over her shoulder.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Two days into the mission three unidentified alien ships attacked Voyager. The away teams were due to check in with Voyager and their calls went unanswered, they couldn't help but watch as Voyager descended through the clouds followed by three alien ships. Chakotay's heart leaped into his throat at the sight of the large explosion that lit up the sky and the three retreating ships confirmed what they had all feared. Voyager had been destroyed. "It can't be possible." Neelix whispered softly, his whiskers drooping as he stared at the ridge of trees that Voyager had vanished behind. "Maybe some of the crew made it out before..." He trailed off as the rest of the teams gathered around. </p><p>"If they made it out they could be anywhere on this continent." Chell added hopefully. </p><p>"They were descending too fast and that explosion we saw was proof enough." B'Elanna stated bitterly. Chakotay managed to swallow his own grief enough to give the command. </p><p>"We need start a search and rescue. Each team will adopt a standard search pattern and scour the area. If any of our crewmates survived it is likely that they would have tried to get as close to our location as possible. We'll meet back here in six hours." He didn't know where had had drawn the strength from but part of him wasn't ready to give up. Somehow he knew that Kathryn was alive. </p><p>                                             =/\=</p><p> </p><p>His combadge burst to life in a crackle of static seven hours later and he quickly slapped the device opening the channel as Tuvok's hail came through. "Voyager this is the away team can you hear me?" He listened closely for a response. </p><p>"...Team...we wer....ttacked...need...ssistance." The static laden reply came. </p><p>"Aknowledged, we are on our way." He terminated the link and turned to find the rest of the away team scrambling to set up the site-to-site transporters and securing the gathered resources. Chakotay marvelled at how well this crew worked together and wasyed no time in moving to assist Vorik in setting up the transporters, keeping the thoughts of Kathryn at bay as he worked. </p><p>It seemed to be moments later when he arrived on Voyager's bridge. It was a mess, debris was strewn everywhere and a few support beams had fallen from the ceiling in the center of the bridge, right in front of the command chairs. "Report." He called out over the blaring klaxons and flurry of activity that usually followed an attack. </p><p>"Voyager has sustained heavy damage to the weapons and deflector arrays as well as to the nacelles and decks two through seven." Tuvok answered, his serene outwards demeanour unchanged despite the situation. </p><p>"Casualties?" Chakotay asked, knowing the answer before Tuvok confirmed it. </p><p>"We sustained thirteen casualties, Captain Janeway was among them. No fatalities as of yet." Tuvok stated. </p><p>"How are repairs coming along?" He asked, five years of facing off with whatever threat the Delta Quadrant flung their way had lead to a keen sense of knowing when it was time to get out of dodge. </p><p>"Repairs are underway, Engineering estimates that we will be able to leave in approximately two days." Tuvok replied. Chakotay nodded, in acknowledgement. </p><p>"Good work, Commander. It seems that we have managed to survive another day in the Delta Quadrant."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>*Two days later*</p><p>Chakotay sipped at his tea as he read Tuvok's report on the attack, his mind turning to his most recent  memory of Kathryn. He had visited her a couple of times whilst she was in Sickbay recovering from her injuries. Harry had mentioned that she had pushed Tom from his seat at the helm just before his console exploded and she had taken the brunt of it and she had confirmed it when he had spoken to her on his last visit, her hand firmly enclosed in his. His door chime broke his train of thought and called for his visitor to enter, the sight of Kathryn standing just inside the door wearing a simple pair of black slacks and a soft white sweater had him making his way over to the replicator. "How are you feeling?" He asked as she slowly made her way over to the sofa and settled herself in her usual seat. </p><p>"A little sore but nothing that can't be cured with a few days rest." She replied accepting the steaming mug of herbal tea that he offered. "What about you?" </p><p>"I am fine, now that Voyager and her crew are on the mend." He answered candidly. "I'd be willing to bet that once we get home, you'll be commndated and promoted." </p><p>"I wouldn't say that Chakotay, I'll more than likely face a Court Martial if I carry on as I am." She sighed softly, gazing into her tea. "I won't be fit for command by the time we get home." </p><p>"You don't know that Kathryn." He stated, searching her eyes for any sign of the woman that he had stood by for the last five years. </p><p>"It's true Chakotay. The incident with the Equinox has made me realise just how much this journey is costing. I am losing more and more of myself out here, pretty soon I am not going to be able to stop being the Captain." She raised her eyes to his and the sheen of tears that he saw stole his breath from him. "And I don't like what I am becoming. One day, Chakotay we'll wake up and find that I have become another Ransom." </p><p>"That won't happen Kathryn. You are not capable of doing anything like the atrocities that he committed." He argued. She shook her head sadly. </p><p>"I almost lost sight of everything that I have stood for. I let my own feelings cloud my judgement and in doing so I put this crew at risk. I lost even more of myself that day than I have during the last five years and by the time we get home, I fear that there won't be much of me left." She quickly wiped away a few tears that had broken free from her eyes. Chakotay silently rose from his seat and reached out to her and she met him halfway, her arms locking around his waist as she buried her face into his shoulder and wept silently as he held her, his fingers tangling in her hair. </p><p>"Everything will be alright Kathryn, I won't let you slip away that far. You're not alone, you never have been." He whispered into her hair. "I am with you until the end." She pulled away just enough to look up at him. </p><p>"Always?" She whispered raggedly. </p><p>"Always." He whispered back, leaning down to brush a featherlight kiss to her lips, drawing her in closer as they both found solace at last.</p>
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